Sunday, March 30, 2014

flame and smoke


His hands were charred from the fire and bleeding from the lacerations.  He looked up at what he had done then back at his hands.  He fell to his knees with his head down and wept.  His face would be in his hands if it weren't for the burns.  This had happened before, but this time he knew what to do.  However, he couldn't bring himself to do it.  He sat there feeling the pull in him, but he didn't move.  The pain rippled through his whole body as he stared at his hands.  He tried not to feel the pain, he thought that time would heal them.  However, the flames got bigger, and as they got bigger, they got closer to him.

They were beautiful, and hot.  He did not want to feel the pain, but he sat still.  He was not crying anymore, and his face was expressionless.  Soon the flames would envelope him if he did not move.  They almost surrounded him, tall and loud and fierce.  But he didn't listen or feel or move. His hands did not create the fire, but they were the things that touched it.  As the flames got closer, his mind numbed until suddenly a wave washed over him.  It wasn't over the blistering fire, for it was over his mind.  He remembered again.  He remembered his potential, and how he didn't have to hurt anymore if he didn't want to. It was difficult, but he stood up, turned around, and leapt through the fire.  It took all his strength to jump, but he was free of the flames.  He ran far away from the flames, and never returned like he had before.  He tried to forget them, and instead remember love, friendship, sacrifice, and kindness.

Friday, March 7, 2014

Back in the summer.

I am sorry.

I am sorry that I lied after you told the truth.


The distant sound of the children playing on the playground behind us mixed with the sound of the stream at our feet and the breeze through the tree that stretched above us.  The sun was about to set,  and the sky started turning peach.  Everything was so calm.  We talked for hours, and although it didn't seem like I said much, my mind was racing.  I didn't know what to think.

We decided to walk.

My head and heart started speaking, and I couldn't decide which was saying what.

"You don't want to live with regrets."

"Is this something you really want?"

"You will be happier."

"You will be more melancholy."

"Be frank."

"Take a chance."

The more we were together, the more I listened to my head.  The perfect picture started becoming clearer and clearer.  But there was a tugging within me all the while.  I ignored the tugging and made myself think that it could happen.

I said yes, and leaped.



I leaped and started falling, but it wasn't me that hit the ground.

Our friendship has been so good and true.  I can rely on you, and I know that you can rely on me.  The love we share is stronger than what it would have been.  I am so sorry for what I did.  I knew the feelings you had and I wanted to match it, but I couldn't.

I care so much about you...

please forgive me?

Monday, March 3, 2014

The Two Wolves

     Everything around me is blurry. Time is moving too fast for me to keep up, but too slow to feel alive.  My body seems so heavy to hold up, and it feels like a chore to breathe.  My eyes allow me to see only the bad and ugly things.

     Everything around me is so clear.  I cherish the time I have with my friends and family.  I feel energetic and happy.  I know that each of us have our many trials, but that we have the strength to overcome them.  I notice the immense beauty in this life.  In people, the sky, and in literature.  I take time for myself to breath and think of how wonderful it is to be alive.
    
    
     Both of these scenarios are extremes.  Believe me when I say that I have never felt either one of these to that extent, although I have gotten very close.  It is more of a mixture of both, sometimes leaning towards one more than the other.  I like to think that I am closer to the second scenario, but I have had my share of the first.  Some people seem, from the outside at least, that they are in a perpetual state of happiness, and they are 100% a "second scenario person".  Even though that is impossible, the people who seem to be that way can be unbelievably annoying. 
     Each of these scenes are in each of us.  The type of person we can be (1 or 2 scenario) can be effected by what happens around us.  But more, it is how we react to those things that happen to us.