Tuesday, December 30, 2014

To The Little Owl

I'm sorry for all the annoying, awkward, weird things i do to you. Just know that I do it out of love. Your a pretty freaking amazing person, and even more amazing that you put up with me. Lets make this year worth while, I'll try to be less annoying, I promise. I'll get over the things I need to get over.


Monday, November 3, 2014

Well hi,

breathing has become a thing that I need to remember to do.

That is really frustrating.

Here are some things that keep me breathing:

Music. By far number one is music.

Reading. Shakespeare, and Harry Potter.

Really cute old couples. There is a quintessential cute old couple in my ward that is moving. I've never cried because of someone moving, but this might be the first. That is a lie, I cried for Ben and Amy.

Christmas music. Just the music does the trick.

Day light savings. In the Fall of course.

My bed.

My family.

My dogs.

My friends.

Trees. They inspire me. And give me air.

These things remind me to breathe, they remind me that life is worth living. Now I just need to stop living, and start LIVING.











Sunday, September 28, 2014

Quote III

"I'm not a river or a giant bird
That soars to the sea
And if I'm never tied to anything
I'll never be free

 
I wanted magic shows and miracles
Mirages to touch
I wanted such a little thing from life
I wanted so much
I never came close, my love
We never came near
It never was there
I think it was here

They showed me crimson, gold and lavender
A shining parade
But there's no color I can have on earth
That won't finally fade
When I wanted worlds to paint
And costumes to wear
I think it was here
'Cause it never was there"

~Pippin


Sunday, September 14, 2014

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Life Is But A Dream

          I used to think that time was important. I thought I needed to hold on to the future, and nothing else. Then you walked in, and time slowed down. But then you left, and time sped up again, and all this time has passed and I can't stop thinking about time, and the way that it always moves. I don't want to have to think about time because I already have enough on my calendar.
          I love you, I have always loved you, and I am willing to love you forever. Time doesn't matter when love is involved. Nights will extend for lifetimes, and the moon will shine full all the while. It will always be Fall, with the fire and the blankets and the warm drinks.
          But right now, you are gone, and time is as fast as a roadrunner, and the sun is shining bright. It is way too hot, and you are making me run way too fast, and I think I am going to pass out. But maybe if I catch up with time, I'll catch up with you.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Things I Love: Part 1

*The feeling that comes right after tons of company leaves, and the house is silent and still.
*Going to my loft to read or listen to music or just think.
*The twinkle of tiny lights amid the black night.
*Brushing my teeth.
*Breathing in the warm air when taking a shower.
*Listening to a really good song for the first time.
*Coming home and having my dogs greet me like it's been 10 years since they last saw me.
*Having a really good, long, nondramatic, talk with a friend about ideas rather than other people.
*Hot drinks in the Winter and cold drinks in the Summer.
*The first dive into a swimming pool.
*Having a baby say your name.
*The 4th of July.
*Going on a walk.
*Laying on the grass in my front yard while waiting to be picked up.
*Not having pneumonia. Which I can't get rid of for some reason.
*Waking up without an alarm clock. Probably the most relatable one on the list.
*Going to the grocery store.
*Walking through a book store.
*Strawberries or tomatoes from my yard.
*Cooking something new and having it be heavenly.
*Watching ANY Disney or Harry Potter movie.
*Remembering random childhood memories.
*Being really tired and finally getting into bed.
*When less time has passed than actually thought.
*Getting out of the car after driving for a few hours.
*Accomplishing something that took a lot of work.
*Polishing a song on the piano/guitar/vocal chords.
*Drinking a full glass of water when it has been desperately needed for a long time.
*Meditating, or those moments where all you are thinking about is your breathe.
*Seeing a Shakespeare play, any of them really.
*Riding a horse.
*Visiting new places, and the memories that follow.
*When people let you know that you have touched their lives.
*When people touch your life.
*Dole pineapple whip at Disneyland.
*Violins, those times when they swell.
*Waking up early and getting started on things right away. (This is rare, but wonderful thing).
*My parents' humor.
*Eclipse spearmint gum.
*Mint juleps.
*Zoos.
*Reading blog posts that make you sit for a second, dumbfounded about the beauty that you just read.
*Jane Austen. I know...I know...        ...also Downton Abbey...
*Meeting really kind, selfless people.
*Flying in an airplane.
*Playing games with friends like we are 7 year olds.
*Temple square at Christmas time.
*Temple square at Springtime.
*I Love Lucy, The Andy Griffith Show, and Bewitched.
*Being home alone.
*Hearing my aunt tell a story, and seeing her get WAY too into it.
*Being outside in the middle of the night, but so warm that you don't even need a jacket.

*Last but certainly not least, the sky. I am utterly obsessed with the sky. Every time you look at it, it's different. Every sunset is unique, and the texture of clouds are always random. I remember one time there was a storm, and half the sky was purple, and the purple swirled together with the storm clouds making a grayish purple monster beside the East mountain line. The middle of the sky was bright blue and the sun was setting making the west a piercing red. I hope you aren't getting too tired of me talking about the sun, I know a few of you might be. But I will never stop talking about the sun, for without it, this world, and all that we know, would be gone.

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Threads and Summer and Balloons and Canyons

  I'm off to the last road trip of the Summer. Now I can reflect on everything. This Summer was nothing like last Summer and I don't want to talk about it, but I wish this one could have been more like last year's. My skin is starting to peel from my sunburns/tans revealing the pale white that my skin will be for the next 9 months. Unlike last Summer, this one seems like a weekend, and now it's Sunday night and I just now remembered about all the homework I'm supposed to do. The whirlwind of events that have made up this Summer is a blur of regrets with few achievements. I've gotten scared of a lot of things lately, and one of them is that I'm going to be alone this next year. People are leaving my life, and even though I put my all into trying to get them back, it's not working. I'm losing it all. My friends, my parents, my wings, and my mind.
          Whenever my family goes places, the waiter/person greeting us/cashier always asks, "How are you?" and my dad always says jokingly, "oh, I'm hanging in there." But that is usually my actual answer these days. I'm hanging in there by a thread, a strong thread, but a thread none the less.


          I took a trip to the heavens yesterday, and let me tell you, it was quite a neat experience. Stars surrounded me, and I felt like anything was possible if I let it happen. It will be quite a long time until I get to go there again, but I was glad that I could go for a little bit yesterday. It helped me get my bearings straight in this crazy life.
          Meet me tonight in dream land. Let's escape this world for a little, and dream. Close your eyes with me so you can learn more about me than you already know. Let's have magic, let's go flying, let's defeat scary giants with our fire powers. Let us taste each other's lips. Let's drink from the shimmering water and play with the talking fish and create a world of our own. Let's have a three dimensional connection.
  The Summer is not even close to being over in my mind. Hailey, we need to remember to go up in the canyon like those cool kids. Haley, we need to have Ardon play ghost in the graveyard in your basement so that he knows what it means to be scared. Trevor, we still need to do something before you leave, Dom too. Kira, we need to watch Downton Abbey and I Love Lucy. Daria, I need to take you to the Tin Angel.

It's not over yet folks, we still have a week left. Let's make the most of it.