Friday, June 6, 2014

1:10 A.M.

        I had such high hopes that I would be able to sleep on the plane, but that dream has been horribly crushed.  Why did I even think that I could sleep on a plane when the only other time that I could do it included a first class seat.  Tomorrow is going to suck.  I just wish that I could sleep, but sitting in the middle seat won't allow that.  I was planning on wearing basketball shorts, but my mom told me to wear sweats so that I would "be comfortable".  I knew that they would be way to hot to sleep in, and I didn't want to have to wear them for the entire day after.  I decided that I would wear them, but leave the shorts in my carry-on so I could switch them out.  But guess what, I forgot to put them in my bag.  So that is what inspires this post.
As I sit here with my legs on fire, and my eyes watering because I am blasting the cold air from the ceiling, so many thoughts are rushing through my head.  Most of them include: "why the heck did you forget to put the shorts in your bag" and, "will there be a time and place to buy more somewhere else?" and, "hopefully I don't fall asleep in one of the shows I'm supposed to see tomorrow/today."  I'm  also thinking about other things.  I wonder what will become of my friends.  I believe all of them have the potential to become someone of great worth and value.  However, I don't know if all of them will take that advantage.  I hope with all my heart and soul that they will.  They are my friends, I live to see them succeed, but I worry when I see them fall, and instead of becoming stronger, they become weaker.
Thinking of NYC makes me think of musicals, in particular Pippin.  I feel like Pippin right now.  If you aren't a nerd like me and don't know what Pippin is, then go look it up because I'm not explaining it.  I'm looking for my "Corner of the Sky".  Or rather, I know what it is, but I'm not taking the time and effort to achieve it.  The answer is love, family, kindness, charity, faith, hope.
It's now 1:32, and my eyes are tired, but my body is not.  I'm hoping that writing all of these thoughts down will help me become more tired, and forget my legs that are on fire (a fire that was created by the devil himself).  I can't really tell if its working, let me keep going.
Alright, so I am listening to the album Tapestry by Carol King.  The song that I am listening to right now is so beautiful.  It is called "You've Got a Friend".  No, this is not the same song from Toy Story, although that one is good too.  It just helps me to remember that there are so many people that have brightened up my life.  It also helps me to remember to be a good friend to others.  It is our job in life to help others up, and as we help others up, they support us too.  "Keep your head together, and call my name out loud...soon, you'll hear me knocking at your door."  "Now ain't it good to know that you've got a friend, when people can be so cold? They'll hurt you, yes and desert you, and take your soul if you let them, oh but don't you let them...just call out my name, and wherever I am I will come running to see you again."  Anytime you need someone, I am right here.
Ah, now I'm listening to "Tapestry", which is a very beautiful song.  She talks about how how elaborate our lives are.  Our lives are beautiful tapestries woven in gold.  Mark Twain said once that if a biography was written on someone's life, no matter who it was, it would become a best selling novel.  All of our lives are special and elaborate.  Everyone has gone through unspeakable trials, and wonderful joys.  I guess I should now talk about the song "Elaborate Lives", from Aida.  All of us have our ambitions, but what is beautiful is that we can share that with another person.  Time is precious, we play games that we can't all win.  It is a challenge to achieve your goals, but what would they mean if they weren't challenging?  There is stinking lightning right outside the airplane.  First of all, that just makes it harder for me to want to sleep.  Second off, our lives are so stinking exciting and spectacular.  Sure you could sit inside your house all day watching T.V., playing video games, or playing Pokemon, but don't you want to do something more?  I took a 30 minute walk one day by myself, this is a few years ago, and it will be something that I will never forget.  I walked down to the pond that is close to my house, and went through the secret passage that leads to a waterfall.  I sat on a bench near the waterfall.  As I sat, I did two things.  I breathed, and I thought.  I took my dog that I had at the time, and he sat quietly beside my side allowing me to think.  My life was pretty crazy at that time, but letting myself think in silence was the best thing that I could have done at the time.  My mind felt so clear, and I knew exactly what I needed to do.
It is now 2:07, and I just realized that I am seeing Newsies tonight.  I love the music and dancing in it, and that is about it.  Shoot, I'm going to fall asleep in it huh.  There will be those long boring scenes with all the old people talking about something boring, and that is when I will fall asleep.  I also think that by writing, I have made it harder for myself to sleep.  Why does inspiration always come at the most inopportune times?  Why am I complaining? I am on a plane headed to NYC!  I'm going with all of my friends, and we will make so many wonderful memories.
I can't stop staring out the window, it is so mesmerizing.  Crazy weather is my favorite, well, right next to a hot sunny summer day.  Darn it, I just woke up Ardon and T.J., I didn't mean to, I just sneezed.  I don't know if they know why they woke up, but they did and they are trying to sleep some more.  But Ardon, since I know that you will be reading this, now you know why you woke up when you were in your deep sleep.  Hopefully I can sleep, pray for me that I can find some shut eye.

P.S. There is a little bit of light coming from the young sunrise.            

Monday, May 5, 2014

Chocolate Semifreddo.

They were old and in the hospital, her time was coming to an end.  He sat by her side as he had done for the past 62 years.  He always loved her, and he would continue to love her.  His hands warmed hers as her heart beat slowed.  He wasn't sad, he didn't even cry.  The only thing he thought about was how beautiful she was, and all the time that he was able to have to love her.  "Thank you," he said, "I don't think I'll ever be able to repay you for all that you have given me."  He bent down and kissed her forehead.  "I love you," he said.  "I love you too," she replied.  He sat smiling at her as she closed her eyes and drifted off.

My Mind: chopped and fried with a garnish of madness.

I'm a spontaneous person, right?  I mean, sometimes you say that I have to think through everything I do before I do it, but I have my moments of sheer blind spontaneity.  That is the problem with me.  I either overthink and overanalyzes things to the point that my brain turns to mush and I end up not doing anything.  Or my mind sits and does nothing as it watches my body go and do random things at random places with random people.  I wish I had not only the strength to do the things that I need to accomplish, but also the control.
Yes, sometimes I wish that I could hide under a rock and never come out.  Just let my mind and body rot and never exist again.  But I also sometimes wish that I could fly like a bird, letting my doubts and fears get pulled off my body like a wave on a beach.  My body aches when my friends, those I love with all my heart, lose it.  Lose their minds, their hearts, their feet, being crazy enough to think that they can't get them back (even though they can).  Their mirrors are not just cracked, but have dramatically broken into thousands of pieces and the pieces have artfully sprinkled the ground.  They see the task of putting the pieces back together too great a feat to undertake so they walk away, trying to forget.   I wish that I could fix it for them, but only they know how to put it back together themselves.  Yes, there is the whole "you can bring a horse to water" scenario, but is that what I should be doing?  Using ALL of my strength and energy to push and pull them just so they can stare at their reflections in the water?  Yes, I should, because how do I know if they will drink or not?
I love you, I care about you, I want you to succeed.  I am not just saying this to one particular person, I am saying this to you.  Yes you, the person who is reading this.  Don't ever give up, that is a sign of weakness.  Are you weak? Heck no! You are so incredibly, undeniably, strong.  You may say I'm mad, but hey, the best people are.
I hope you enjoyed the main course, have you saved room for dessert?

The Appetizer: A Refreshing, Light Salad.

          The sun rose.  It was unspeakably beautiful.  The long trek up the mountain that started at 3 in the morning...was finally worth it.  No one spoke a word.  We could hear birds singing, and that was all.  It was like being reborn, and we all got to experience it together.  We were all good friends, but as the sun stretched its light over the valley, we somehow became more than friends, just for that moment.  It was exhilarating, but also calming.  For just that period of time, I felt perfectly fine about everything.  

Saturday, May 3, 2014

Quote One

One of the most memorable quotes I know came from a random place.  While my family was on a vacation in San Diego, we decided to go swimming.  My aunt was in the hot tub as a really cool, young Australian guy with his children showed up.  His children played in the pool as he talked to my aunt in the hot tub.  He told her something that he always tells his children, and something he lives by: respect each other's wishes.  That has stayed with me for all these years, I always think about it every once in a while.  Sometimes we worry so much about ourselves that we neglect the wishes of others. 

Respect other's wishes.
-amazing Australian guy